company, party, and fun

On my last post, my in-laws had just left and I was about to get my best friend from growing up, Alethea from Nashville.  It seemed like we had little to do according to my calendar.  Well, that quickly filled up with field day (the one that got rescheduled), grocery shopping, church supper, dance, and the Southside Spirit Fest.  So, Alethea came on the 17th (Tuesday) and just left today.  I am sure she is looking forward to some true quiet.  I am beginning to question my routines.  They are good for us girls while we don't have company but not conducive to guests.  Our bedtime routine is the one that has me frazzled.  I am sure I have posted about this co-sleeping stuff before.  I didn't like it when they were infants and I don't like it now.  But, it sure beats getting up 3-4 times a night due to nightmares.  The girls' counselor (Rebecca) suggested that I embrace it.  I could modify it to fit my needs but try to relax and "go with it."  It is obviously something the girls need to feel secure right now but....I am having a hard time embracing it.  I WANT to but can't.  We all go to bed at around 8:15.  The girls read until about 8:30.  Then, lights, etc. out.  Well, I have my computer on so I can do things I want to do.  This is good until we have company.  Well, two girls (sisters) in a bed together with no adult supervision can cause problems.  So, staying up and having adult conversation can be interrupted by breaking up arguments over who touched whom and why one sister has to sleep facing the other because the one can feel the others' breath!  REALLY?  ROLL OVER!!  So, it is a difficult position.  The girls really want to be in here and I really do enjoy watching them sleep.  When one girl moves, the other does too.  It is really sweet how connected they are as sisters.  Oh, wait, I figured out the problem!!!  If they had on/off switches, it would be perfect!  I could turn them "off" at night and "on" in the morning....  So, that is my struggle as a mom.  Embrace what is uncomfortable for another 8 months (minus 3 nights with Alethea in Denver and 14 nights E will be back for r/r). 
I really hate to complain about this.  It sounds so petty.  My biggest struggle as a mom is the fact that my kids argue at bedtime????  REALLY?  Ok, so they argue in the car, at church, upstairs, downstairs, inside, outside... you get the picture if you're a mom.  And, we actually do have one routine.  The girls switch who gets to sleep beside me each night so it's fair.  I like sleeping next to D because she doesn't try to kick me off of the bed.  But, she doesn't snuggle either.  I like sleeping next to RJ because she snuggles and it's sweet.  But, by 3 am, she is trying to sleep sideways and kick me off of the bed.  If you are a proud co-sleeping parent and have suggestions, let me know!  BTW, they are 8 and 6 (if you didn't know).... They are ready to sleep on their own when Dad gets home.  I love all the power a man in the house holds!  The "Protector of All from Evil" the "Hero Dad" the...walks in the door and they do what they are supposed to at bedtime!  What gives?
On to more fun stuff.....I did get over the guilt (thanks Kendall) and enjoy the Southside Spirit Fest.  We had a total of 54 guests who all came with drinks and side dishes.  I had great cooks (thanks Rick and Mike)......  And, everyone seemed to have a good time!  I think May is the perfect time for this.  So, mark it on your calendars now!  The Saturday before Memorial Day, my house, WITH "Hero Husband" AKA "Bestest Brewer" will be here to celebrate........ 
I do want to mention a few things before signing off.  It is off topic because it isn't relevant to my blog topic.  But, the reason I feel the guilt when I can't embrace this bedtime thing....  My friend Mary's son Luke (D's BFF in Korea) has a tumor and has been treated for it for a while now.  But, they were at Vandy for 6 hours today trying to run tests to see if it is growing again or not.  (And, I worry about bedtime??)  My friend, Heidi's neighbor, Doug (also a GREAT friend to her) has cancer and also had an accident this weekend at his house and broke the L1 vertebrate. (and, going to bed 10 min. later is a BIG deal?), So many lives were lost in Joplin, MO.........I think I need to hug these girls a little tighter...
Afterall, I am a mom who has and will continue to make mistakes.  I will do this while my husband is home, training, or deployed.  It is one of the cons of motherhood.....your mistakes are highlighted in the faces of your children......But, every day I wake up and try to do the best I can for these girls.  I hope they look back and remember the time when I slept in bed with them and we were all at peace.  Not the one night of the month I yelled at them for not going to sleep.......